Marshall : "So, where do you wanna do it for the first time as a married couple, nice hotel room or a reception hall bathroom ?"
Lily : "What do you think ? Bathroom, of course."
…
Ted : "Please don't."
Lily et Marshall : "Sorry, Ted."

Marshall : "Look at me. She's not gonna want to marry me like this."
Ted : "That's crazy, of course she will."
Marshall : "Would you marry me ?"
Ted : "No. But not because of the hair, it's because I have a rule : never marry anyone you've had a farting contest with."
Marshall : "Oh, great. So now you're saying Lily and I shouldn't even get married ?"

Lily : "Great. Now my mom's making me invite the Lessners. This puts our numbers in the triple digits."
Robin : "Wow, I guess sometimes, less-ner is more… ner.
You know how like sometimes less is more."
Ted : "Yeah. This is one of those times, sweetie."

Robin : "You hate marriage, why do you want to perform the ceremony ?"
Barney : "Because it subtly implants in the mind of every woman there that when I ask a question, you say ‘I do.’"