Raj : "But if we're really gonna do a double date, then we have to go over some ground rules about Emily."
Howard : "Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything ?"
Raj : "She's very real."
Howard : "Oh, that's what it says on the box. Right next to ‘dishwasher safe’."

Penny : "Wait. What's wrong with geology?"
Sheldon : "Let me put this in a way you'll understand, Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science."

Amy : "What did you do?"
Penny : "I gave him a new look. It's cute, uh?"
Amy : "Yeah, it's cute! That's the problem! I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick."
Sheldon : "She's right! I'm too hot."