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Citations de la série TV Veep

Saison 7
Veep saison 7 Episode 6
Selina : "[...] That footage is highly classified"
Keith : "It was classified, until somebody on your staff clicked on 'Asian Girls Bound and Gagged.'"
Selina : "Oh Ben. Or Kent. Or Leon. Oh God. Or Marjorie, I mean, I don't..."

Veep saison 7 Episode 6
Minna (à Selina) : "On behalf of the Finnish Ambassador to Norway, I grant you asylum."
Gary : "She prefers the word 'spa'."

Saison 6
Veep saison 6 Episode 2
Marjorie : "Ma'am. You are unstable and manipulative, and I worry about the genes you'll pass down to our child. But your ex is worse."
Selina : "I appreciate that. Means a lot. You're like a son to me."
Marjorie : "Thank you ma'am."
Selina : "You can call me "Mom"."
Marjorie : "Thank you, mom."
Selina : "Except, you know, it doesn't quite sound right, you know, when you hear it out loud. So let's just stick with the ma'am."
Marjorie : "Yes ma'am."

Saison 5
Veep saison 5 Episode 10
Selina : "General George Washington could climb out of his grave right now and I would rather eat out his zombified wooden asshole twice a day than be his vice fucking fucking anything!"

Veep saison 5 Episode 10
Selina : "Kent, can you give a girl some warning next time before you jam it in the back door?"
Kent : "Data gives no warning, ma'am."

Veep saison 5 Episode 10
Jonah : "Are there any pictures where the president isn't yelling at me?"
Richard : "As far as I can tell, no such picture exists in the known universe."

Veep saison 5 Episode 7
Congressman Jaeger : "After much prayerful consideration, I have decided to abstain from the upcoming congressional tie-breaking vote in Congress."
Selina : "Abstain?"
Jaeger : "Yes ma'am."
Selina : "But then no one wins, you dumbass."
Jaeger : "I was warned that you would say some hurtful things."
Selina : "Okay, hold on. Let me see if I can just explain this to you in terms that you might understand, okay? Let's say that your chief of staff... Nadia, is it? Okay, and she's down on her knees, and she's got your balls in her hand, and she's working your shaft just the way you like it. And moments before you're about to come all over her stupid Slavic face, she says, 'Nyet, after much prayerful consideration, I have to abstain from the upcoming blowjob'."

Veep saison 5 Episode 7
Selina : "You're playing a very dangerous game of chicken with the head fucking hen. 'Cause if I don't win the White House, O'Brien is gonna sink your stupid boats, and you're gonna look like a hair-sprayed asshole in your 1980s mother-of-the-bride dress. And if I do win, I will have my administration come to your shitty little district and shake it to death like a Guatemalan nanny. And then I'm gonna have the IRS crawl so far up your husband's colon, he's gonna wish the only thing they find is more cancer."
Congresswoman Nickerson : "Good God."
Selina : "So, can I count on your vote? Or do I need to shove a box of White House M&M's up your stretched-out six-baby vag?"
Nickerson : "Yes, you can count on my vote."
Selina : "I think I wanna hear a, 'okay-dokey, Annie Oakley'."
Nickerson : "Okey-dokey, Annie Oakley."
Selina : "Oh, super-duper, trooper. Now get the fuck out of here, congresswoman."

Veep saison 5 Episode 3
Charlie : "We just heard a lovely story about the Queen of England."
Selina : "Oh. She's a fucking cunt."

Veep saison 5 Episode 1
Bn: "Two great Greek contributions to society ... democracy and getting fucked up the ass."

Selina: "I've tried both and they're way overrated, like jazz."

Veep saison 5 Episode 1
Jonah: "She's Uncle Dursley and she's got the great wizard Harry Potter living under the staircase. Do you see that? But what happens in the Harry Potter books? He rises up and he kills all the Muggles."

Richard: "I don't think that's what happens."

Saison 4
Veep saison 4 Episode 10
Selina : "That fucking guy with his fucking charm and his fucking son and his fucking wheelchair with his spine all fucked up"

Veep saison 4 Episode 7
Gary : "Oh my God, shit got real !"

Veep saison 4 Episode 7
Richard (à Tom) : "It's like words are your second language, sir."

Veep saison 4 Episode 6
Tom : "Sometimes you have to gamble, you know. Unfortunately, our horse did not win."
Selina : "No, it certainly didn't. It fell at the first fence and it got shot, and now some French fucker's got it in a baguette."

Veep saison 4 Episode 6
Richard : "I am sorry, ma'am. A number of tall women were molested, and Mr. Ryan was one of them."

Veep saison 4 Episode 5
Amy (à Selina) : "I have bitten my tongue so long, it looks like a dog's cushion. But no more ! You have made it impossible to do this job. You have two settings — no decision and bad decision. I wouldn't let you run a bath without having the Coast Guard and the fire department standing by, but yet here you are running America. You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food in buckets, and maybe slavery. I've had enough. I'm gone."
(Amy commence à partir, avant de revenir sur ses pas)
Selina : "Well, I guess she's finished with her little — oh, nope. Look at that, there's more."
Amy : "You have achieved nothing, apart from one thing. The fact that you are a woman means we will have no more women presidents, because we tried one and she fucking sucked. Goodbye, ma'am."

Veep saison 4 Episode 4
Selina : "Why in the name of pixelated fuck would you do that ?"

Veep saison 4 Episode 4
Selina (à Ben) : "You look like the cabin depressurized and you fell into a coma or something."

Veep saison 4 Episode 4
Amy : "I feel like I'm on a life-support machine and they keep pulling the plug to charge their phones."

Veep saison 4 Episode 1
Amy : "I'm almost crying. I didn't know I could still almost do that."

Saison 3
Veep saison 3 Episode 8
Kent : "I see you shaved, wise. You don't have the facial gravity for a beard."
Dan : "So smooth that's amazing. It's like touching a child's face, here try."
Kent : "I don't enjoy touching children's faces. Neither should you."

Veep saison 3 Episode 8
Amy : "Crap. There is any dirty trick that I cannot stand and it's honesty."

Veep saison 3 Episode 7
Selina : "Fat people don't even vote. They can't even be bothered to get out of the house, you know ? There's no food in the voting booth."

Veep saison 3 Episode 7
Premier ministre : "Is that not quite clearly her hat ?"
Mike : "No I don't think it is."
Ben : "No it's not her hat."
Premier ministre : "I think it is her hat. It's definitely her hat. I'll tell you how I know, because I remember when I first saw it thinking to myself "what a hidious hat !". It is like she stuck her head in a swann and it's exploded."

Veep saison 3 Episode 6
Minna : "I am so sorry, I would like you to understand that in my country, politics is a lot more honest."
Selina : "In your country, people fuck snow. And I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect."

Veep saison 3 Episode 6
Catherine : "Well, I'm not going to a fucking gun show."
Selina : "Uh, well, yes you are going to a fucking gun show, even if I have to put a gun to your fucking head."

Veep saison 3 Episode 6
Mike : "Do we have to talk guns ? I wish we were still on abortion, that was easy."

Veep saison 3 Episode 6
Dan : "Ok Ma'am, you need to be conservative and liberal."
Selina : "What ?!"
Dan : "So look at guns, but don't touch guns. You know what, don't even say the word gun."

Veep saison 3 Episode 6
Amy : "She's not gonna like that."
Mike : "She's an adult."
Amy : "Are you talking about Catherine or Selina ?"

Veep saison 3 Episode 6
Minna : "In your country, you have too many guns."
Selina : "Way too many. But I think we have a little problem and it's callrd the second amendment. People think it's their birthright you see."
Minna : "To give guns to babies ?"
Slina : "Well only in Arizona."

Veep saison 3 Episode 5
Selina : "I'd rather be shot in the fucking face than serve as Vice President again. Seriously, in the fucking face."

Veep saison 3 Episode 5
Selina : "You know Mike, that would please me greatly if you would do me hte honour of removing your jizzbox from our executive branch of government."
Mike : "It's actually cooler..."
Selina : "Oh then by all means open it up, let's have a picnic ! I'll boil up my eggs !"

Veep saison 3 Episode 2
Selina : "If men got pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM. Let's state the obvious."

Veep saison 3 Episode 2
Selina: "Get the government out of my fuckin' snatch!"

Veep saison 3 Episode 2
Selina : " I can't identify myself as a woman, people can't know that ! Men hate that ! And women who hate women hate that, which I believe is most of them."

Veep saison 3 Episode 1
Dan : "Jonah is gone."
Selina : "Well, all my orgasms have come at once."

Saison 2
Veep saison 2 Episode 10
Selina : "Jonah, don't talk, don't stay. You need to fuck off and go back to Westworld."
Jonah : "But ma'am–"
Selina : "–no no no, you need to fuck off."
Jonah : "But ma'am–"
Selina : "–I said fuck off. Three fucks, you're out."
Jonah : "Yes ma'am."

Veep saison 2 Episode 10
Enfant : "When I grow up, I want to be Vice President just like you."
Selina : "Oh, no, you don't. You want to be President."

Veep saison 2 Episode 10
Selina : "Jonah ! Hey listen, settle something for me. You like to have sex and you like to travel ?"
Jonah : "Yes ma'am."
Selina : "Then you can fuck off."

Veep saison 2 Episode 10
Selina : "I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna run against Chung. Ok ? I'm gonna take myself off the ticket, I'll run against Chung and I'll run against POTUS. It will be like a political massacre."

Veep saison 2 Episode 9
Amy : "She walked through a glass door?"
Dan : "Yeah, that woman has become a living metaphor of her own career"

Veep saison 2 Episode 9
Amy : "Gary gave her something that is reacting with her antidepressants and turning her into Julie Andrews."

Veep saison 2 Episode 8
Selina : "I spewed out so much bullshit, I'm gonna need a mint, a fucking mint."

Veep saison 2 Episode 7
Selina (à Jonah) : "Go, period. Fuck, period. Yourself, exclamation point."

Veep saison 2 Episode 7
Gary (à Sue) : "Ok it looks like, between you and me, without me this office would implode."
Sue : "Gary, the secret service is calling you Girly Shirley Temple"

Veep saison 2 Episode 7
Selina : "You know Jim, you're a lot older than me. If you die within the next six years, I will be attending your funeral and giving a eulogy when POTUS sends me in his stead. And it is gonna be full of subtext. Chock full of subtext."

Veep saison 2 Episode 7
Ben : "Madam Vice President greatest respect, but it has been the job of the VP over the ages to, you know, take it in the ass to save the president."
Selina : "Yeah, let me tell you something : this ass is closed for business. This ass is in clenchdown. I don't want to be a decoy. Let the president take it in the ass... he might like it."

Veep saison 2 Episode 6
Selina : "Gary, deflower the room !"
Dan : "Ok that's a sentence I bet you thought you'd never hear."

Veep saison 2 Episode 5
Selina : "Europe used to be my favorite continent. Now it's not even in my top five."

Veep saison 2 Episode 5
Mike : "It's fucking insane here. It's like a math prison, they rape you with numbers."

Veep saison 2 Episode 5
Ben : "We are supposed to inform congress of covered operations. This is not a choice like my diet, this is a necessity like my drinking."

Veep saison 2 Episode 5
Mike : "Is Selina Gollum ?"

Veep saison 2 Episode 4
Selina : "Get off the plane."
Jonah : "What?"
Selina : "Get off of the plane."
Jonah : "Ma'am, we're taxiing."
Selina : "I don't give a shit. Get the fuck off my plane."

Veep saison 2 Episode 4
Kent : "I can't hairbrush history ma'am, I'm not Joseph Staline."
Selina : "No, no that's true you know, you don't have a tenth of his charm."

Veep saison 2 Episode 4
Selina (à Jonah) : "What are you laughing about, Jolly Green jizz-face ?"

Veep saison 2 Episode 4
Gary: "Aw, Jonah should really be on suicide watch"
Dan: "Yeah, make sure he goes through with it"

Veep saison 2 Episode 3
Ben : "We all work for the President."
Selina : "Oh, and where is the Great and Powerful Oz by the way ?"

Veep saison 2 Episode 3
Ben : "We got to go early. I mean you know POTUS, if we give enough time he's gonna change his mind, he's gonna procrasturbate forever."

Veep saison 2 Episode 3
Selina : "Amy, it's like explain gravity to a chicken !"

Veep saison 2 Episode 3
Gary : "Ok ma'am, you got thirty-three senators to get through."
Selina : "Oh boy, I feel like that porn star who had to do two hundred men in one day. At least she got to lay down, right !"

Veep saison 2 Episode 2
Selina (à Gary) : "Hello miss America ! I've been scratching my eyebrow for three and a half fucking hours. Where have you been ?"

Veep saison 2 Episode 2
Selina : "So they want me to go to a pig rost to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns to fuck the pig before they rosted it ?"
Amy : "I would'nt presume they took turns."

Veep saison 2 Episode 2
Amy : "I do not want children, okay ? Why can nobody accept this ?"
Sophie : "Sweetie, you do not have to decide right now. You still have plenty of time. I remained fertile till I was 56."
Dan : "Terrific."
Amy : "Just because I have a vagina, it doesn't mean that I am supposed to be popping them out."
Son père : "Oh for God's sake, Amy…"
Sophie : "We just want you to be happy, sweetie !"
Amy : "I am happy without kids !"

Veep saison 2 Episode 1
Selina : "All the ladies in the house say "free"!"
Women : "Free!"
Selina : "All the men in the house say "dom"!"
Men : "Dom!"

Veep saison 2 Episode 1
Selina (à un statisticien) : "You take your eyebrows and you get out!"

Saison 1
Veep saison 1 Episode 5
Selina : "And now I'm gonna say what ? I'm gonna say "I'm the Vive President of the United States : put the cupcake down. That's now my job ?"

Veep saison 1 Episode 4
Selina : "I'm the Vice President of the United States you stupid little fuckers ! These people should be begging me ! That door should be half its height, so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn motherfucking knees."

Veep saison 1 Episode 3
Gary : "You're not gonna believe this. Selina is on next year's list of hurricanes."
Selina : "Oh, shit! What if it hits and we get headlines saying 'Selina causing large-scale devastation'?"
Amy : "People won't equate you with a natural disaster, ma'am."
Selina : "Really, Amy? 'Cause I've met some people, okay? Real people.
And I've got to tell you, a lot of them are fucking idiots."

Veep saison 1 Episode 3
Andrew : "Twenty years ago, you had no power, but you had balls. Now look at you."
Selina : "Yeah, now look at me. I have a dick and balls, okay ?"


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