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Saison 6
Community saison 6 Episode 13
Chang : "I farted during the fourth one. It's an inside joke."

Community saison 6 Episode 7
Abed : "I haven't exactly been a whirlwind
of entertainment since Troy left. It's not just me, you guys have been boring too."

Saison 5
Community saison 5 Episode 13
Dean : "What does this look like,
an hour-long episode of The Office?"

Community saison 5 Episode 11
Abed: "But, Jeff, you shouldn't almost die over a number. What's important are ranges of numbers. You're still 18 to 49 for almost a decade. That's valuable to society."

Community saison 5 Episode 9
Dean: "Quick annoucement for two of Greendale's finest. Payday is postponed until next week. So this... if my freestyle rap apology."
Dean (rappant): "Well, I'm a peanut bar and I'm here to say, your checks will arive on another day. Another day, another dime, another rhyme, another dollar, another stuffed shirt with another white collar. Criminals, Wall Street, taking the pie and all the black man gets is a plate of white lies. Prisons! Recuitin' 'em! Police be shootin' them, rap artists lootin' them, labels all dilutin' them. Barack Obama is scared of me 'cause I don't swallow knowledge and I spit it for free. Let me clear my throat, ah-ha, ah-ha...."
Dean: "I don't know what that was, I don't. I don't know what that was..."

Community saison 5 Episode 7
Ian : "She's everything I love about America: bold, opinionated, just past her peak and starting to realize that she has to settle for less."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Duncan : "Real nice, Winger. This is why the English never win any sports. 'Cause everyone else cheats !"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Jeff : "Sweet, sweet, portable chairs. Plastic gold. Four-legged diamonds. You claiming this ? Lava joust ?"
Britta : "Uh, did you all hit your heads on each other's heads ?"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Britta : "I think this imaginary lava might symbolize Abed's fear of change."
Jeff : "I think that diagnosis symbolizes your lack of a psych degree."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Britta : "What are we getting from this extra level of commitment ?"
Chang : "We're getting your chairs, your food, and the names of your same-sex celebrity crushes. Everyone has one, don't lie."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy : "You used that bench to upset the balance. By the Vapors of Magmarath, we will restore it."
Britta : "YOU HAVE GODS ?"


Community saison 5 Episode 5
Chang : "MY SAME-SEX CELEBRITY CRUSH IS NATHAN FILLION ! NATHAN FILLION !"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Britta : "Troy !"
Troy : "Sorry, Britta, Abed knows best. But I'll always remember you as kind of slowing us down and complaining a lot."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy : "Abed. Listen, I'm still a little raw from what happened with Britta back there. I mean, fun is fun, but I don't want my last day here to be a day where everyone hates me."
Abed : "Last day ?"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Professeur Hickey : "Come out with your feet on the floor, and there will be no need for nudging or jostling."
Shirley (en criant) : "I did not skip my son's birthday for second place !"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Pop Pop (accent britannique) : "I'M ACTUALLY BRITISH !"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy et Abed : "Troy and Abed in a buuuubble !"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Abed (à Troy) : "Sorry about our butts touching."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy : "I say we take a stand here. I mean, someone's got to win sometime."
Abed : "Not if we never kill each other. Then we can play forever."
Troy : "Right ! Wait. Abed, the floor can't be lava forever. The game's got to end."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy : "He's... he's fake dead... forever."
The Universal Translator : "El esta muerto para siempre."
Troy : "SHUT UP."
The Universal Translator : "Callate."
Troy : "What ?"
The Universal Translator : "Que ?"
Troy : "STOP !"
The Universal Translator : "Para !"

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Britta (à Troy) : "God, there I go. Almost Britta'd our good-bye, huh ? I'm the worst."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy : "I'm better at sex than Jeff, right ?"
Britta : "I've yet to have anyone worse."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Troy : "Thanks for looking out for me."
Shirley : "Thank you for putting up with the boring, old mom in your college study group."
Troy : "You made a furniture fortress. You're the badass from our study group."

Community saison 5 Episode 5
Abed : "Clone Troy."
Troy : "Clone Abed."
Abed : "By the way, when I cloned you, I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA with genes from a homing pigeon. You may notice side effects, like a compulsion to come back."
Troy : "Cool. Clone hug ?"

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Troy and Abed: "Troy and Abed are in mourning"

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr Stone: "Mr. Chang I presume. You're also listed as a suspect and requested to participate."
Chang: "Fine, but I ask the questions."

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr Stone: "Mr. Winger, state your name."
Jeff: "Jeffrey Winger."
Mr Stone: "Are you gay?"
Jeff: "No."
Mr Stone: "Are you sure you're not gay?"
Jeff: "Yes."
Mr Stone: "Gay murderer says what?"
Jeff: "What?"


Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr Stone: "Mr. Chang, state your name."
Chang: "Benjamin Franklin Chang, ready to deal out the truth. Nothing to hide. Let's do this."
Mr Stone: "Have you ever masturbated in the study room?"
*Chang walks away out of the study room*

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr Stone: "Miss Edison, is it true you once secretly dosed the members of your study group with a pharmaceutical amphetamine?"
Annie: "Aheum... Oh, uh, yes, uh, kind of."


Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr Stone: "You can quit any time you like. But it should be noted that Mr. Hawthorne's estate is worth over $20 million and only those cleared of his murder can receive their bequeathments."
Jeff: "I'm only gonna say this once. Clearly, Pierce is trying to lure us into a labyrinth of emotional manipulation and strategic instigation. And I think we're all smart enough to know we should quite while we're not ahead.
Everyone: "I do believe we should. Yes, definitely. Quit while we're ahead. Absolutely. Yep."
Lie detector women: "They're all lying."
Shirley: "WE ALL KNOW THAT, YOU JUDMENTAL BITCH!"

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Jeff: "Abed, where did you plant these things?"
Abed: "If you makes you feel any better, you'll never find them."
Annie: "I know you know it's wrong to do that without telling us. Shame on you!"
Abed: "Okay, i'm ashamed."
Lie detector women and Abed at the same time: "LIE!"

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Abed: "I'm a bad person for tracking your location, but you altered my brain chemistry? I was up for three days that week. I invented an entire language, you fliztbarping gitzgorg."

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Abed: "Jeff made me apply for handicapped parking so he can get a better spot."
Jeff: "Britta's the one that invited Garrett to Annie's birthday party!"
Britta: "Troy won't sit on a toilet seat after Jeff!"
Troy: "When we're alone, Shirley refers to you guys as "those people"."
Shirley: "Oh! When Annie's with other females, dude, she calls Jeff her uncle!"
Annie: "Shirley thinks we're all going to hell!"


Community saison 5 Episode 4
Chang: "I didn't just masturbate in the study room. I masturbated everywhere. EVERYWHERE!"

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Jeff: "Let's empty our tanks of lies once and for all. I'm Jeff Winger and if I had my choice, I would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleepy with."


Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr. Stone: " "I also leave you this liquid nitrogen cooled cylinder of my hyper-virile sperm in case your lesbian lifestyle one day wears out and you wish to raise an army of geniuses." "

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr. Stone: " "To Sherley Bennet, I also leave you a cylinder of my sperm." "

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Mr. Stone: " "Jeff Winger, did you know you're gay?" "
Jeff: "No."
Mr. Stone: " "Agree to disagree. To you, I leave this bottle of fine scotch so that you're less tempted to drink this cylinder of even finer sperm."

Community saison 5 Episode 4
Britta: "By the way, uh, we never found out how Pierce died."
Mr. Stone: "Oh, my God. I can't believe I didn't tell you yet. It was dehydration from filling up all of those cylinders."

Saison 3
Community saison 3 Episode 22
Abed : "Cruel, cruel, cruel."

Community saison 3 Episode 19
Shirley : "Pierce, all you said was, 'I'm hungry.'"
Pierce : "All Henry Ford said was,'I need a ride.'"

Community saison 3 Episode 17
Jeff : "Keep the change Garrett... You know what? Keep the hot dog."

Community saison 3 Episode 14
Voiceover : « Unfortunately for Britta and millions of photographers like her, just because something is in black and white doesn't mean it's good. »

Community saison 3 Episode 11
Jeff : "Wireless racism, the future of the past is now."

Community saison 3 Episode 4
Shirley (à Jeff) : "Dr. Shirley says mini pies are the best medicine."
Jeff : "Then, I'd like to see her degree."

Community saison 3 Episode 3
Chang : « My own words rang in my head like a bell inside a head. »

Community saison 3 Episode 2
Jeff : "Annie, stop ! You're acting like a little school girl and not in a hot way !"

Saison 2
Community saison 2 Episode 22
Chang : « Unless that father is me.[…] But try not to look at the door, okay? That's bad luck and Chang babies are very superstitious. Also if you can visualize a rabbit riding a dragon, it'll increase his chances of winning lotteries. »

Community saison 2 Episode 21
Troy : « By the way, that dude was hard-core racist, like 1800s Disney-style. »

Community saison 2 Episode 19
Pierce: ",dkf,vk,df,mdfsfdq,??§!!!!"
Shirley: "Nobody can hear you!"
Pierce: "I'm hot, my balls are touching my zipper"

Community saison 2 Episode 15
Annie : "Is she a friend of Ellen?"

Community saison 2 Episode 11
Abed : "It's the first season of Lost on DVD"
Pierce : "That's the meaning of christmas ?"
Abed : "No. It's a metaphor. It represents lacks of payoff."

Community saison 2 Episode 11
Jeff : "Somewhere out there, Tim Burton just got a boner."

Community saison 2 Episode 11
Troy : "Who taught you therapy? Michael Jackson's dad?"

Community saison 2 Episode 9
Abed : "You shouldn't even be in here, Leonard. You already have three
farting strikes against you."

Community saison 2 Episode 8
Shirley: "Mother Hen? I think we're about the same age."
Britta: "Sure, unless time is linear."
Shirley: "I'll make your ass linear."
Britta: "That doesn't make any sense."
Shirley: "I'll make your ass sense."

Community saison 2 Episode 7
Britta: "Women of Greendale! This cafeteria is hereby declared a bitch-free zone!"

Community saison 2 Episode 4
Abed : "Look at the panel on your right and tell me your recipe"
Troy : "Original"
Abed : " How many pieces?
Troy : "6"
Abed : "Flavour heading?"
Troy : "Tasty"
Abed : "We need to get up to delicious"
Troy : "That makes sense!"

Community saison 2 Episode 2
Jeff : "Shirley, don't sue a stripper !"
Shirley : "Why not ?"
Jeff : "She's a stripper. Life sued her, and she lost".

Community saison 2 Episode 1
Abed : "And we're back."

Community saison 2 Episode 1
Jeff : "Oh, good, yeah, Abed. Cancel us. And while you're at it, why don't you take your cutesy, "I can't tell life from TV" gimmick with you? You know, it's very "season one"

Community saison 2 Episode 1
Pierce : "You know, now that Troy's off the streets and living with me, he's learning so much about the world.
Troy : "Yeah. Tell me again why Jewish people wear yarmulkes."

Pierce : "Half a hat. Saves money."

Saison 1
Community saison 1 Episode 24
Britta: "Will anyone back me up if I say this is ridiculous, or is it gonna be another Avatar situation?"

Community saison 1 Episode 24
Troy: "I couldn't understand a word Dr. Escodera was saying. And why is she teaching Spanish if she's a doctor? Go cure something."

Community saison 1 Episode 24
Troy: "Someone make her a dude so I can punch her."

Community saison 1 Episode 24
Señor Chang: "Hola el losers!"
Class: "Hola!"

Community saison 1 Episode 24
Abed: "I think I got the half of it."
Troy: "Which got me through the half I didn't."
Abed: "Like the first season of The Wire."

Community saison 1 Episode 23
Troy : "I want TBD ! Is that new?"
Pierce : "It is what I think I had for over a month in the 70's..."

Community saison 1 Episode 22
Abed: "Smashing the guitar of someone singing a cloying love song was on my quintessential college experience list."
Annie: "Your what?"
Abed: "It's a list of everything that movies have taught me comprises a successful first year at college."

Community saison 1 Episode 22
Abed: "Pierce's universally recognized social flaws made him the scapegoat, a lightning rod. Now he's gone, so there's lightning everywhere."
Troy: "That sounds dangerous! My uncle was struck by lightning. You think it'd give you superpowers, but now he just masturbates in theaters."

Community saison 1 Episode 22
Abed: "Hey. You're my friend, right? Friends are supposed to help each other, no matter what!"
Troy: "Okay."
Abed: "Ridiculous situation descending into heavy-handed drama for the illusion of story. Check."

Community saison 1 Episode 22
Troy: "Are you sure it's the name of my grade school and my favorite soft drink?"
Abed: "Yup. Pretty sure."
Troy: "George Washington Lemon Fresca. That's a horrible porn name!"
Abed: "I don't make the rules."
Troy: "What's yours?"
Abed: "Henry David Thoreau Diet Squirt."

Community saison 1 Episode 22
Abed : "It's very dangerous. We've lost our Cliff Clavin. Our George Costanza.
Our Turtle. Or Johnny Drama. Or E. Man, that show is sloppy."

Community saison 1 Episode 21
Jeff : "Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego : my facebook photo is a landscape"

Community saison 1 Episode 21
Troy: "He released Annie's Boobs! Annie's Boobs could be anywhere! Annie's Boobs could be on the side of the road!"

Community saison 1 Episode 21
Pierce: "'Streets ahead' is verbal wildfire."
Annie: "Does it just mean 'cool', or is it supposed to be, like, 'miles ahead'?"
Pierce: "If you have to ask, you're streets behind."

Community saison 1 Episode 21
Annie: "You were right. But what can we do?"
Jeff: "I'm sorry, you brushed over that first part. Together."
The Group: "You were right."
Jeff: "Now what you can do is go home and write that on your bathroom mirror."
Troy: "Wouldn't that make it seem like I was right?"
Shirley: "Yeah, because it would be my mirror."

Community saison 1 Episode 20
Dean Pelton: "From now on, April fool's day is banished, okay? At greendale, April 1st is officially March 32nd, forever!"

Community saison 1 Episode 20
Dean Pelton: "Just reminding you to keep any April fool's prank physically safe, politically balanced, and racially accessible. When in doubt, check the guidelines in our college pranks literature."

Community saison 1 Episode 19
Abed: "Jeff's competitive side had come out before. He had even displayed envy. But on that first day of pottery class, he discovered..."
Jeff: "Abed."
Abed: "Yeah."
Jeff: "What did we discuss?"
Abed: "No voiceover. Sorry. It is kind of a crutch."

Community saison 1 Episode 19
Jeff: "Good luck, Pierce."
Pierce: "Don't need it. Never had it."

Community saison 1 Episode 18
Michelle: "Jeff, we need to talk."
Jeff: "What's wrong? Are you breaking up with me?"
Michelle: "Oh. Maybe we don't need to talk."

Community saison 1 Episode 18
Jeff: "We always used to watch the shows she wanted to watch. I hate Glee!"
Pierce: "I'm not crazy about Glee either."
Jeff: "I hate it! I don't understand the appeal at all!"

Community saison 1 Episode 18
"I think they'll both drop charges, but we gotta take statements. It's gonna be a while, and I may just be a simple cop but people need to know this isn't gonna stop until pictionary bans the word 'windmill'."

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Señor Chang: "Adios."
Class: "Adios."
Señor Chang: "Heh. Adios."
Class: "Adios."
Señor Chang: "Adios."
Class: "Adios."
Señor Chang: "Guys! Class is over. I'm trying to get you to leave."

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Jeff: "Abed... You're a god."

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Jeff: "Stop projecting your obsession
with clothes onto me as an excuse for when I
beat you in a game."

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Pierce: "Oh, come on! If all chinese were psychic,
you would have started using birth control centuries ago."


Community saison 1 Episode 17
Jeff : "I hate to say i told you so, so I'm gonna shout it through cupped hands : I TOLD YOU SO!"

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Troy: "Whoa! That's a good Jeff. How'd you do that?"
Abed: "10% Dick Van Dyke, 20% Sam Malone, 40% Zach Braff from Scrubs, and 30% Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry."
Jeff: "Zach Braff?"
Abed: "Sorry."

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Jeff: "So does that make Abed 'brown Joey'?"
Shirley: "If you want to get racist about it."

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Troy : "Woh, a white Abed !"
Pierce : "It's like Abed, but employable"

Community saison 1 Episode 17
Pierce: "I can't think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties. One way or another, that ends with an explosion!"

Community saison 1 Episode 16
Chang: "Tonight, you are my bitches."

Community saison 1 Episode 15
Star-Burns: "Hey Winger, check out Annie! Somebody just went to the top of my "to do" list."

Community saison 1 Episode 15
Annie: "Hey, guys, thanks for getting involved in my love life! That was super cool and mature of you. Oh, and since you're both clearly idiots, I should probably let you know that I'm being sarcastic!"

Community saison 1 Episode 15
Annie: "What are you insinuating? I took that kiss for the team."
Jeff: "What? Yeah, that kiss wasn't for pleasure. It was strategic and joyless."
Annie: "What? Yeah."
Troy: "You did get weirdly specific when you were describing Annie's body."
Jeff: "More specific than the stuff you told me about Britta?"
Annie & Britta: "What?"
Shirley: "Does anyone get specific about me?"
Pierce: "Check your email."
Shirley: "I'll mark you as spam."
Pierce: "Who the hell is Pam?"

Community saison 1 Episode 13
Buddy: "I'm sure you guys have a natural rapport and timing, and you're scared that adding a new member might through everything off of its natural" [CUT TO TITLE SEQUENCE] "rhythm."

Community saison 1 Episode 13
Chang: "I am a man who can never die! And this has been your first taste of Spanish one-oh-dos, the semester I get inside your cabezas".

Community saison 1 Episode 12
Jeff: "True or falso or none of the above? That doesn't even make any sense."

Community saison 1 Episode 6
Jeff : "I'm saying you're a football player ! It's in your blood !"
Troy : "That's racist !"
Jeff : "Your soul."
Troy : "Racist."
Jeff : "Your eyes ?"
Troy : "Gay ?"
Jeff : "That's homophobic."
Troy : "Black."
Jeff : "That's racist !"
Troy: "Damn."

Community saison 1 Episode 3
Abed: "I have to do a documentary. It's like a regular movie, only with ugly people."

Community saison 1 Episode 3
Jeff: "Hey! Troy sneezes like a girl!"
Troy: "How about I pound you like a boy- that didn't come out right."

Community saison 1 Episode 2
Troy: "¿Dónde está la biblioteca? Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca."
Abed: "Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca, es en la bigote grande, perro, manteca."
Troy: "Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeña Cabeza es mi helada. ¡Cervesa es bueno!"
Abed: "¡Buenas Días! ¡Me gusta papas frías! La bigote de la cabra es Cameron Diaz. Yeah, Boy!"
Troy: "Yeah! What!"
Abed: "Yeah. It's 2009."

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