Larry : "Daddy's pregnant."

Marty : "Jackie, it's a pregnancy test. You pee on it and it tells you if you're pregnant."
Jackie : "What does it tell if you poop on it, the weather ?"

Larry : "I won't lie to you. I don't know what things are gonna look like this time next year, but I know we're going to make it. I can't see the path yet, but it's there."
Jackie : "Wednesdays."
Larry : "We never know."
Reggie : "I've heard rumors about ABC Family."
Larry : "Oh screw that. Every step along the way they've counted us out. No one thought we would last this long. And we did. And so help me, we'll do it again."